I ...

Consciousness

Oh yes I am aware,

Of my strengths, my capabilities, my abilities

I smile, let it go, choose to turn my other cheek

Don’t mistake my passiveness for weakness

-         My silence for ignorance!

Realization

I am what I am

My thoughts are my own

My actions are my own

And so I choose to be

WHO I AM

WHAT I AM

HOW I AM!

Life, you think you can break me, crush me?

Oh you may chip away at my resilience -

Bit by tiny bit,

You are persistent, I give you that!

But there it ends – your control over me!

My spirit – it’s a fighter!

It refuses to be bound by shackles!

My mind – it soars beyond your grasp!

You think you got me don’t you?

Think again! Look again!

Shower me with pain,

Assail me with doubts,

Play on my fears,

Badger me with all you got,

Bring it on, I say!

For my spirit is my own – it chooses to rise like a phoenix!

My mind is a sword – it chooses to fight back!

Nothing you say can take away that from me

And so I live.

I live to face another day,

I live to face another fight,

I choose to live, I choose to hope…

Ganesh Chaturthi

And I am back! Had a wonderful reunion with my parents, sister and relatives back in India after a gap of 3 years…

Well, to be honest, it’s been almost two months since I got back but have just been a little homesick and too lazy to do any serious blogging. First it was getting over the jet lag, and then it was cleaning and stocking a house that had been closed for a few weeks. Next came the back to school event! All in all, I had plenty of excuses to not start writing. But enough is enough. Hopefully, this was just something akin to a writer’s block, and this first post will help open the floodgates! 

Before beginning anything auspicious, we Hindu’s generally pray to Lord Ganesha. And since this a second beginning of sorts to my blogging, what better post than one associated with the festival that just passed us by – Ganesh Chaturthi!

“वक्रतुंडा महाकाय सूर्या कोटि समप्रभा
निर्विघ्नं कुरु मे देव सर्व कार्येशु सर्वदा ”

Mine is a Ganpati crazy family - be it my parents, sister or me - Ganpati Bappa happens to be our favorite God! Though I believe that there is one supreme power, all Gods are the same etc etc, when I close my eyes to count my blessings or ask for help, I envision the sweet elephant faced deity riding a mouse as my savior!

Every time I go to Mumbai (which is every visit to India), I make it a point to visit the Siddhivinayak temple there. Whenever I see an elephant on the road, I feel thrilled, as though it is a sign of good things to come. Call me superstitious if you wish, but it is what it is!

Everytime me or my sister would go on a picnic, fair, trip or any outing, we would purchase a Ganesha idol for our parents. We still do the same, but just not as often. I have lost count of the number of idols in different poses, styles and materials in my parents' house.

My dad's brother deserves a special mention here. His house in Thane is a Ganesha museum in itself! Babu chitta, as I call him, opens it for the people to come and visit during the 10 days of festivities. He also has established a Ganesha temple at Badlapur. The picture below is a collage of some pictures taken at his house when we visited him last month. The image in the center is of the temple. 

Having grown up in such an atmosphere, is it any wonder that Ganesh Chaturthi is my favorite festival? As a kid, I remember seeing the huge Ganesha idols being decorated and readied for Ganeshotsav in Mumbai. I have lived in quite a few places in India (my dad had a transferable job), but the pomp and gaiety of that city does not match any other city that I have seen, as far as this festival is concerned. 

My school was at RCF colony, Chembur and while going home in the school bus we would get to see the preparations being done at RK studios and Dukes. On the day of the sthapna (installation of the idol at the place of worship) the streets would be crowded with people dancing in processions around huge trucks that would bring the idols to the pandal. The pandals would be decorated with lights and garlands. Over the years, the competition at various madals has grown stronger and there are huge investments. A lot of current affairs and political themes are being incorporated. Lal Baugcha Raja is reportedly the most visited mandal in Mumbai!

Not to be outdone, each residential building or society also usually has their own idol. The size of the idol, the decorations, the theme – everything is a cause for rivalry! There is even competition as to who bursts the most crackers! Remember the 5000 and 10000 ki ladiyaan anyone??

For the 10 days, there is an air of festivity and excitement. At home also, we would get a small clay idol. Usually people offer prasad and prayers to the Lord for the 10 days. Then on the day of the Visarjan, the idol is carried in processions, accompanied by loud music and dancing as well as bursting of fire crackers, to the sea/river and immersed in it. Shouts of “गणपति बाप्पा मोर्य, पुड्च्या वर्षी लौकर या” rent the air. It is with bitter sad feelings that we say good bye to Ganeshji and pray for him to come back soon the next year.

Usually I just do pooja on Ganesh Chaturthi every year and prepare kozhakattais. But this year, I got a chance to share in this awesome atmosphere even here in the US thanks to a couple of friends who bring home Bappa every year. It was wonderful to attend aarti in the evening and gorge on modaks. My son also got a taste of Ganeshotsav for the first time!  He even learnt a new rhyme – “Twinkle twinkle little star, Ganpati Bappa Superstar!” chanted the kids :). In fact he insists on listening to “सुख करता दुःख हरता” every evening when I light the lamp in front of God!

Thank you dear friends for the wonderful darshan!

My favorite part of the festival is of course the  kozhakattais! So, next post up - the recipes for kozhakattais or modaks...

Just a Mom

Time was people would call their parents for parenting tips, or the doctor for advice on keeping the kids healthy. But not anymore. These are the days of internet. Every time my kid so much as sneezes, the first thing I reach for is the phone, to talk to my mom, but I also log into the information superhighway for clarifications! How sad is that? 

Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for information gathering. I believe that well informed people make smarter decisions. But what I am experiencing right now is an information overload!  Well if I do go in search of tips, advices, personal experiences, understandable. But what is happening right now is that I am being deluged with parenting techniques.

It starts right from the moment we realize we are pregnant. In my friend circle, almost all my friends own, have read or at least have heard about the “What to Expect” series. I own an edition of “What to expect when you are expecting” by Heidi Murkoff. I have read the book from end to end – my husband had to forcibly pry it off my hands once I got admitted to the hospital! And I imagined each and every scenario that could possibly go wrong (as described in the book). And trust me, I am not the only “first time” paranoid mom – I have heard similar stories from plenty of others!  I can see some of you shaking your heads and saying “If you are such a basket case, who asked you to read it?” Well, all I had to do was turn around at the doctor’s place, or visit a friend, the book would be staring me in the eye!

Once my baby became a toddler, I purchased the book “Positive Discipline” by Jane Nelsen. I have read about half of it in bits and pieces – not nearly enough to incorporate into life. Thankfully, did not really need it – we had a comparatively less eventful toddlerhood!  And now is the phase of “Tiger Moms” and “Bebe Moms”!

The Wall Street Journal prominently featured two authors that caught the attention of people. Sometime back it was Yale Law professor Amy Chua who wrote "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”. Recently it is author Pamela Druckerman and her new book,” Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting”. The first booked triggered off heated debates about whether the Chinese methods of extreme parenting were better than the kid glove methods adopted by their American counterparts. Wall Street Journal even came up with a counter attack article regarding the same with an American mom justifying the way kids are treated here. The second book is about French parenting methods. This book is also generating a lot of interest, though less than the first one. I have not read either of these books, but have read both the articles in the Wall Street Journal. Both articles imply that the Chinese moms and French mom are superior respectively to the American moms.

I am an Indian bringing up my child here in the land of plenty. Now my question is what category am I in? If I am talking about a specific culture, I being an Indian can definitely identify to some extent with the Tiger Mom. I do not condone severe punishment to make sure the child does what is expected of him/her. But I do believe in pushing my child to aim higher. I am not one to dole out a “Good Job” even if my son does something poorly, but I don’t exactly insult him or threaten starvation to do better! I am not the calm and poised mom who refuses to get provoked by anything either. I do indulge in a good bit of yelling and screaming to get my point across – I can see hubby dearest vigorously nodding his head at that! But it gets the job done! Not that I am encouraging everyone to go on a shouting spree.

All I am saying is follow your instinct. As a parent, I need to believe that I am doing the right thing. If I am not confident, my kid is going sense it and take advantage of the situation. Sure it’s a good idea to get to know what other parents do, but we should know what is best suited to us. So, my kid didn’t exactly sit calm and quite in restaurants and eat on his own when strapped into a high chair, but he did not throw things around or create a scene either! He needed attention - we gave it, he needed a distraction – we provided it. And we enjoyed eating out. I have spent many a sleepless night during the early days because I couldn’t let him cry himself back to sleep, but he did outgrow it gradually – and now I miss all the cuddling! He is not the perfect angel child – he has his share of acting out every now and then – but isn’t that what a child does?

I like to believe that I am maintaining the fine line between that of an overindulgent parent and that of an out and out strict one. I don’t plan on being my child’s best friend until much later in his life. He is going to have plenty of friends – but only one mom! But I don’t want to teach him about delayed gratification or how to be independent. He is going to learn all that soon enough! For now I would just like him to have a normal childhood spending plenty of time with his parents without being terrorized into aiming for the stars! Sure I am going to crave some alone time or tear my hair out with worrying over some behavior of his or the other. But that’s all in a day’s work. And for those occasions when I am at my wits end as to what needs to be done – I’ll turn to mommy dearest of course! What say you?

For the article on Amy Chua, go to 

http://online.wsj.comarticleSB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html

For the article on Pamela Druckerman, go to 

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204740904577196931457473816.html

Children – To have or not to have…

It all began with a couple of articles by columnist Petula Dvorak that I read on the Washington Post. The first one was “Midnight moms are in the grip of holiday mania” followed by “What is the point of having kids if your life ends when theirs begins?”

The titles say it all, don’t they? The first one was about how working moms have to deal with their careers during the day and how the struggle to make up for the time spent away from family keeps them up through a major part of the night. But the article scared one of the readers and put him off the idea of having kids. His question made it as the title of the second article by the columnist.

That set me thinking, have I ever let that thought form in my head? Have I ever felt like my life ended when my baby was born?  I didn’t have to wait a heartbeat on that one – NO, NEVER!

Sure, the life I knew, before my child was born, changed. I may have been this ambitious career woman, the carefree wanderer, the experimental dancer. I gave up all that of my own free will to become a full time mom. That doesn’t mean I don’t have a life! Yes, I am primarily a mother, so my day begins with what to make for breakfast for my kiddo and meanders through school, extra classes, hurt limbs and bruised egos and ends with menu and play date planning for the next day. But that hug and good night kiss (for the time being at least) that I get at end of the day, the adoring eyes that say I can do no wrong - makes it all worth it! I am growing and learning with my child. Each day brings with it its share of amazing discoveries and exciting adventures, all seen through the wondrous eyes of my little one. I wouldn’t trade that for anything in this world.

There are moments when I envy the neatly put together working women who I see on the train on my way to drop my kid at school. I wonder how different my life is from theirs – me in my jeans and sneakers that scream “mom clothes” with the quintessential all-encompassing tote and them in their starched suits and killer heels with smart handbags. But all it takes is a tug at my hand, the tug at my heart, to pull me back to what I would rather have in my life. And I bet the multitasking abilities of a mother would put the most efficient of professional to shame :).

I don’t feel like I have lost my identity. I intend getting back to work soon and am sure I can juggle being a professional at work as well as being a mother. Aren’t all the working moms doing just that? It’s not a piece of cake. But for every hour of lost sleep, there is a memory to cherish, for every extra hour of effort put in; there is a smile to treasure. My child has enriched my existence, made me a stronger person. So to those who say they don’t want a child, I say – your loss.

"The soul is healed by being with children." - English proverb

The articles referred to can be read here:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/what-is-the-point-of-having-kids-if-your-life-ends-when-theirs-begins/2011/12/22/gIQAIVkeBP_story.html?wprss=rss_local

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/midnight-moms-are-in-the-grip-of-holiday-mania/2011/12/15/gIQAT1zqwO_story.html

Makarsankranti

On the auspicious occasion of Makarsankranthi, which I observe as Pongal, my friend who goes by the name of Cinnamon provided this guest post to show how this festival is celebrated in other parts of India...


Makarsankranti is a festival celebrated all across India, in varied formats differing from region to region. It is the worship of Sun God who starts his journey towards the North- making the days longer and the nights shorter.

When I think of Makarsankranti, it reminds me of kites and til ke ladoo. The smell of the ladoos made by my mom engulfs me in my childhood memories. How the sky was so colorful with kites flying all over as early as December. As soon as I returned from school I used to run to the terrace with my brothers and stay with them till dawn, this use to happen every day till Sankranti. My mom used to start the preparation for the til ke ladoo a week before. She used to call us all, give a sack and ask us to make the til colour lighter as they are black in colour. We all used to rub them on the sack and kept comparing, whose til is lighter in colour, who did more and every time me and my brother ended up fighting. That was so much fun. On the day of Makarsankranti, we used to give the ladoos to the poor and stay on the terrace the whole day flying and catching kites basically I used to help my brothers with everything they needed. At the end of the day I used to count how many kites I caught and come running to tell my mom. Taking the path to the memory lane opens up a whole new world which I might have almost unconsciously forgotten. Making me feel happy and sad both at the same time.

Makarsankranti is celebrated with different names and beliefs all over India. While it is Pongal O Pongal in south, it is Lohri in Punjab and the famous kite festival in Gujarat. The day preceding Makara Sankranti is called Bhogi in Tamil Nadu where people discard old and derelict things and concentrate on new things causing change or transformation. On the day after Makara Sankranti, the South celebrates the Mattu Pongal for the holy cow. In Bengal, Makar Sankranti is noted for the Ganga Sagar Mela and Pithey parban. Bhogali Bihu is celebrated on the day in Assam. Makar Mela is observed in Orissa. In Kerala, the famous Sabarimala Pilgrimage comes to an end with sighting of the Makaravilakku. In Gujarat and Rajasthan, it is known as Uttarayan.

According to the Puranas, on this day Surya (Sun) visits the house of his son Shani(Saturn), who is the lord of the Makar rashi(Zodiac Capricorn). Though the father and son duo did not get along well, Surya made it a point to meet his son on this day. He, in fact, comes to his son’s house, for a month. This day thus symbolizes the importance of the special relationship between father and son. Millions of people take a dip in places like Ganga Sagar (the point where the river Ganges meets the Bay of Bengal) and Prayag and pray to the Sun God (Surya).

Another legend is that King Bhageeratha brought Ganges down into Patala on Makara Sankranti day. This was to get salvation to his ancestors who were cursed by Sage Kapila and turned into ashes. Essentially it symbolizes how it is time to throw the darkness of the past and begin a brighter life. A life with more warmth with the winter behind. -- Cinnamon