Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Children – To have or not to have…

It all began with a couple of articles by columnist Petula Dvorak that I read on the Washington Post. The first one was “Midnight moms are in the grip of holiday mania” followed by “What is the point of having kids if your life ends when theirs begins?”

The titles say it all, don’t they? The first one was about how working moms have to deal with their careers during the day and how the struggle to make up for the time spent away from family keeps them up through a major part of the night. But the article scared one of the readers and put him off the idea of having kids. His question made it as the title of the second article by the columnist.

That set me thinking, have I ever let that thought form in my head? Have I ever felt like my life ended when my baby was born?  I didn’t have to wait a heartbeat on that one – NO, NEVER!

Sure, the life I knew, before my child was born, changed. I may have been this ambitious career woman, the carefree wanderer, the experimental dancer. I gave up all that of my own free will to become a full time mom. That doesn’t mean I don’t have a life! Yes, I am primarily a mother, so my day begins with what to make for breakfast for my kiddo and meanders through school, extra classes, hurt limbs and bruised egos and ends with menu and play date planning for the next day. But that hug and good night kiss (for the time being at least) that I get at end of the day, the adoring eyes that say I can do no wrong - makes it all worth it! I am growing and learning with my child. Each day brings with it its share of amazing discoveries and exciting adventures, all seen through the wondrous eyes of my little one. I wouldn’t trade that for anything in this world.

There are moments when I envy the neatly put together working women who I see on the train on my way to drop my kid at school. I wonder how different my life is from theirs – me in my jeans and sneakers that scream “mom clothes” with the quintessential all-encompassing tote and them in their starched suits and killer heels with smart handbags. But all it takes is a tug at my hand, the tug at my heart, to pull me back to what I would rather have in my life. And I bet the multitasking abilities of a mother would put the most efficient of professional to shame :).

I don’t feel like I have lost my identity. I intend getting back to work soon and am sure I can juggle being a professional at work as well as being a mother. Aren’t all the working moms doing just that? It’s not a piece of cake. But for every hour of lost sleep, there is a memory to cherish, for every extra hour of effort put in; there is a smile to treasure. My child has enriched my existence, made me a stronger person. So to those who say they don’t want a child, I say – your loss.

"The soul is healed by being with children." - English proverb

The articles referred to can be read here:


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    1. Thank you so much Sireesha - you just made my day!

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